Hansel vs. Gretel

I drift away as she chokes on a piece of meat. She makes an awful gagging noise, the kind cats make when they swallow one too many rat parts and the rat parts strike back. I can't look at the mashed potatoes and roast pork on my plate as I might spew out mashed potatoes and roast pork on my plate; so I look past them, and drift away into memories of you.

You’re not eating well, are you, if you’re eating at all. But that’s what’s keeping you alive, and you know that, don’t you Hansel? You know why, instead of giving you all those sweets, or that juicy chicken leg, or yesterday’s blueberry pie – that was particularly scrumptious by the way – you know the reason why I ate them myself and gave you a piece of stale bread instead, was because I love you, Hansel. You understand, don’t you?

Don’t look at me like that. It’s true. She wants to fatten you up, make you plump as a pumpkin and then she’ll bite into your flesh, Hansel, and she’ll keep biting until there’s no more of Gretel’s little brother left… But I won’t let that happen, Hansel.

Which is why I took those sweets, those meats, that delicious blueberry pie. Which is why I’m the one who’s fattened up, who’s plump as a pumpkin. I took one for you, Hansel, I took – what are you doing. How did you get those keys. How did you – stay back, Hansel. Get back in there. She’ll see you, brother, she’ll eat you up! Get back. I’ll give you a piece of chocolate next time, I promise I – no no brother, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it I was hungry –

I’m hungry. She isn’t making the choking noise anymore. “It’s such a shame Gretel had to go away. It would have been nice if she at least left a note…” And she looks a little sad and for a while I forget that she makes retching sounds as attractive as maggots on cheese. She brightens up and tells me, “Oh but eat up, dearie! It’s a miracle you finally came out of that room. Your sister told me you were too upset to see anyone else but her, what with your father leaving you in the woods like that, poor dears. Oh but if only she at least left a note…” And I nod and take a mouthful of meat because remembering how I took your life makes me hungry.

This roast pork sure reminds me of you, sister.